Friday, March 29, 2013

the Climb

The rule to climbing trees around here is as follows:
You are allowed to go as high as you can manage independent of outside assistance.
If you can't get into the tree, then you're out.
If you can't reach a branch, then you're done.  You've reached your limit.

I suppose it's criminal to insinuate that a child can have limitations.  It's standard practice to teach they can be whatever (or would it be whomever?) they want to be.  Is that really true?

Like all clean slates, there are endless possibilities to fill an empty void.  Add a dash of personality and a splash of hard-core drive, and, yes, a person can evolve into many forms.  Seemingly endless possibilities await....

When an infant is born, they inherit a cradle of sorts:  a cradle of mahogany, gold, recycled barn wood...perhaps, molded plastic, or maybe nothing more than a simple tattered blanket.  A social class.  A cultural distinction.  Shackles.  Aren't all children born into shackles of circumstance or expectation to be bound, overcome or live up to?  We hope they will find freedom from anything to which we were inherently burdened, and when we witness glimmers of aptitude, we want them to succeed uninterruptedly.

It is all too easy to live vicariously through the broad horizons of our children.  To be where we stand in life, limited to a path of circumstance and choice, and see the road map of possibilities before them, glimmering in early morning light, with so much time to journey.

How high can they climb?  Will they grasp every branch they struggle to reach?

I wish it only depended on talent or sheer determination.  How many of us have desire?  Burning desire.  Or, how about willpower?  Is it really a lack of willpower that makes us unable to out pace the road blocks of a life going completely status quo?

One thing I do know about life is the unexpected nature of events taking shape at all times.  I have attained many goals I have sought; but more often than not, I have been blind-sided by random circumstances I could not control.  Some events have been mere hiccups, nothing more than a passing annoyance. Others have been tragic, monumental.

Looking back on disappointment or pain and seeing the other side is called survival, and survival is not nothing.  It may not be glamorous.  Life in it's everyday form is not an inspirational poster.  Trophies aren't awarded for hard choices and monotonous work and sacrifice.  When a glass ceiling is smeared with clawing desperation, it can become nothing short of an obsession to break through.  And, now we must take pause, because an obsession will dominate everything is touches.  How hard should we push to climb higher...and, at what expense?

I suggest, while we teach our children to strive for goals, we also take the time to celebrate the accomplishment of adaptation.  Sometimes it's the decision to stop climbing or find satisfaction with the heights we were able to attain, without risk to life or limb, that we must acknowledge and celebrate.  It's not failure I congratulate, but, rather, sincere effort and the modesty to know when we gave it our best and still find value in it.  Contentment does not mean abandonment of dreams.  Contentment is peace.  Contentment is satisfaction without the gnawing static of discontent sapping the beauty of the delicate, fleeting present.

It's so difficult to see what is out of reach, rest our gaze on it, and be fine with not touching it.  It may always be beyond us to hoist any further, but higher does not always mean better.

The climb can take on different purpose, and for that be wary.  A person may stretch for a branch of personal growth.  But, sometimes, our tree becomes a competitive pursuit.  In ecology, competition is:  "the simultaneous demand by two or more organisms for limited environmental resources, such as nutrients, living space, or light."  What is force driving us on?  Has our tree grown greedily tall just to starve out neighboring growth?  Just because a tree reaches beyond our sight doesn't mean we have to go there, that we must sacrifice the view below for an unknown, perceived gain that lies above.

Some may say "You can have it all."  But, it's not true.  It's really not.  Our children, though, can have so much.  It is a privilege to be witness to the unfolding of intellect and skill harnessed in such small, hopeful packages.  Perhaps, though.....it is not what they Become, but, rather, their ability to Adapt, for the sake of valuing what is their life alone and not in comparison with anyone else, that will be most extraordinary.





1 comment:

  1. Many times our choices in life dictate what color our shackles are. My hope is that I can help my child to learn to make the best choices possible in order to avoid wearing the uncomfortable, non-returnable, non-transferable sort.

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