TMI

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
― Dr. Seuss

Probably my favorite Dr. Seuss quote...

Pregnancy is the most common miracle on the planet.  Bearing that in mind, I would be calloused and inexcusably ignorant if I failed to acknowledge the grief and disappointment of those women who painstakingly struggle to have children of their own.  I have always made great efforts to imagine that side of the equation, the struggling side, because our experience has been quite the opposite... 

We have, admittedly, stumbled into pregnancy...four times over...  and, by "stumbled," I mean for you to imagine baby Bambi's first steps in roller skates down a flight of stairs.  We stumbled naively, and repeatedly with harried attempts at recovery and adaptation before it happened again.  

I do not intend to come off glib, but we have determined, by careful evaluation and deliberation, that we must be morons.  It's just not plausible that we could be blind-sided on four separate occasions.  Our parents did not miserably fail us with the whole "birds and bees" shtick.  We knew about the "parts"....and how the "parts"...well, you know...EVERYONE knows!  After the third baby, I literally studied the topic of fertility and applied everything in the reverse:  the counting, the tracking, the monitoring of all things in the world of feminine "ick."  I had the power of medical science behind me now!  I was equipped with more knowledge of myself than I had ever cared to hold before. 

Jude was born 14 months after my self-administered Associates Degree in "Reverse Fertility."

Now, here's the most amazing part...
The power of existence.

These children obviously have a tenacious desire to exist, and we have pondered the indisputable character laced into the DNA of those stubborn zygotes.

Oh, yes, these children are not just unique.  They are a "me."  I remember how, with sly smile, I taught each of my 18-month-olds the concept of "you" and "me."  For me, they were a "you," but to them, they were a "me"...the very conception of Identity!  Too look into a mirror and no longer see another generic baby, but eyes that peer into oneself.  A gaze that goes beyond image and into the conscientiousness.

The miracle of pregnancy really boils down to this humbling awareness of the mother:  that in the vast expanse of the universe, a "Me" was made to be; and you carry, not just a bag of bones (that grind into your ribcage), but an intellect, a personality.  Who they choose to be, impressed by the mold of nature and the caress of nurture, remains to be fully seen at first.  The decision is ultimately up to them, but you have the undeniable privilege to witness the unfolding and expanding discovery of within.   And, while you hope to assist in making them the best version of themselves they can be, they are still something beyond us and we have to respect it while we guide it.

I don't mind letting it be known that I did not plan my children, because I will also readily admit my foolishness, my ignorance, at not anticipating how perfect it would be to have two girls and two boys.  No, scratch that.

I was too short-sighted to understand how I would be enriched by the gregariousness of a Sydney, and the tenderness of an Aidan, and the diligence of an Ellery and the tenacity of a Jude.


They have so much to offer.  To me, to the world....

I have come to understand that they will, in fact, have something to teach me, and I will be forever enriched for it.






So, with a heart full of gratitude, I say to my children,  "I love 'You' because no one alive is Youer than You!"